Let’s be real ladies, business and the corporate world can be vicious and cut throat. It can be very competitive and feel like a zero sum game where if one person wins it means everyone else looses. There is so much operation from a scarcity mentality rather than an abundant one that it pits people against each other rather than working with each other for the greater good of all. When you are out there being your brilliant and authentic self and letting your talent and gifting finally take center stage you will face a level opposition, if not immediately for sure at some point. Some opposition will be internal, and the internal tends to be one of the most vicious. However, opposition from others can feel like an intense mental and emotional battlefield that tempts you to shrink back and not show up to play full out. Many well-meaning people see this really evil phenomenon and decide to bow out rather than to face it head on. Ladies, it is time to stop running away and face the situation with the fire of determination in your eyes, knowing that you are standing strong for your purpose. Standing strong for your calling. Standing strong for your gifting. Standing strong most importantly for YOU. This is about showing up for yourself and honoring you while not abdicating your personal power. This is a women’s empowerment blog after all! This is YOU empowerment. This about learning tools to take your power back. In this week’s blog we will explore five deeply effective ways to move forward in spite of jealousy and opposition from others, so that you can be the most bold, brilliant, and powerful you.

What is envy?

Envy according to www.dictionary.com is a feeling of covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, or possessions. It brings a level of ill will towards another person. In other words, in the workplace or in business, you can be literally hated for your skill, expertise, intelligence, eloquence or anything you do really well. One of the most frustrating things about envy and jealousy is that people will look at what you have accomplished and hate you for it without knowing what you had to sacrifice or go through to attain your skill level or success. Were they there when you worked two jobs and went to school at night and weekends to develop your expertise? Were they there when you worked 80 hour weeks for a decade in your business or brand before you got your first big break? They see your now and literally despise it. This jealousy and envy has such a negative and dark side to it that it can cause the recipient to feel intimidated and literally stop doing the thing they were BORN to do. The thing that brings them joy and gives their life purpose because the opposition feels so overwhelming and intense. If you have been following my blog for a while, you know I am going to tell you this … DON’T STOP. Never, ever quit but beyond that, care must be taken to allow yourself to navigate this situation in a whole and healthy way without loosing your head and heart. Let’s be clear your head is where all your intelligent ideas come from and are planned out to amazing execution but your heart is where your courage, determination, innovation and passion comes from that literally creates the MAGIC that you authentically bring. How do you let your natural born MAGIC aka skill/talent flow? Here are five insights!

1. Don’t focus so much on the opposition

Mind your mind. Be careful what you focus on because what you focus on becomes reality. Whatever you magnify in your mind will be manifested in your life. When we face opposition from one small person we tend to make that the focus of everything. We forget the 125 people who wished us well. We forget their support, their encouragement and their love that we could use as an emotional spring board to sling us forward into a new stratosphere. Stop magnifying the words of the critics and listen to the tens of thousands that got your back. The thousands that have gone before you to pave the way with their sacrifices, their hard work and their determination in the face of opposition to create opportunities that you are basking in today. You may not physically see the 10,000 but in the words of the late Maya Angelou know that “I come as one but I stand as 10,000!” Focus on that and minimize the words of the little insignificant few because they only become significant by how much attention you give them.

2. Analyze Your Role In The Situation

Do a self-analysis on where you may have played a part in creating the problem

So you thought that I was gonna let you off the hook now, huh? As your coach, you know I will call you forth to the highest you so that you can rise above the mess even if the mess is of your own creation. This is true accountability. Perhaps you have done absolutely nothing to attract this kind of “shade” from the haters as is the case in many situations. However, there are times where it intensifies because of how we go about shining our light. Your light could bring illumination to dark places or it could literally be blinding people to the point that they cannot see what’s in front of them. You can take center stage to display your talent but if it is not accompanied by a humble spirit then it can ignite resentment. Ensure that you are being humble and not leading from your EGO.

3. What is your intent?

Everything that we do must be assessed from intentions and motives. They give us a glimpse into our soul. If your intent is to just be the best and show everyone else up then you are operating from ego as stated in the point above, but if your intent is to bring value and contribution that will bring a completely different impact on those around you. Be honest with yourself and assess your intent to see if your motives are pure and coming from your highest self or not.

4. Never Shrink To Make Them Feel Secure

Marianne Williamson in her book A Return To Love Says “There Is Nothing Enlightened About Shrinking So That Other People Won’t Feel Insecure Around You.” This is a powerful statement. Other people’s insecurities are not your problem and taking a back seat from what you are called to do to make them feel comfortable isn’t noble it’s just plain stupid. It’s absolutely ludicrous that people would forfeit the powerful transformational impact that their work could make on a group of people because of silly comments from a few. Let them deal with their own insecurities and move powerfully into what you are called to do, unapologetically like a true trailblazer!!

5. Lean Into Love

The only thing that overcomes the destructive power of envy is love: a. self-love, b. love of others, and c. Divine love. When there is negative energy being spewed at you because of the good things you are up to, it becomes even more important to ensure that you are practicing self-love. This means taking time to validate yourself rather than waiting for others to recognize and validate you. This includes being clear what your thoughts and opinions are on various matters and not allowing yourself to prioritize the importance of everyone else’s opinion and desires over your own. Instead of engaging in self-doubt engage in self-love! Read this blog on How To Believe That You Are Enough for more tips on practicing self-love.

Another aspect of bringing in the positive energy of love in order to make it stronger than the negative energy of envy is to practice love towards others. This means being kind, patient, empathetic, listening well, and practicing emotional intelligence with those in your personal and professional lives. This however, does not mean you don’t confront issues as they arise for the sake of being “nice” sometimes the most loving thing to do is speak truth to power and to stand your ground. Loving others isn’t an excuse not to address problems and confront issues. Don’t go along to get along or settle for fake peace instead of real peace. Sometimes you have to disrupt the status quo and be controversial in order to truly fix and heal the dysfunction in toxic environments. Self-love comes first in this regard because it is impossible to give the healthy energy of love to others when you haven’t filled upon this love within yourself.

The final and most powerful aspect of love is Divine love. This is a spiritual kind of love that we pull on to give us the energy, peace, joy, strength and healing we need to go forth in challenging situations that we face in our business or work environment. Many refer to this love as AGAPE. This spiritual approach, if we choose to plug into it through meditation, prayer or whatever practice you know connects you with the Divine will help you tap into the powerful energy of love that conquers all.

Powerful Coaching Question

If you are dealing with jealousy or envy in business of in your career, which tool above could be the most impactful? Are you open to taking action now, to see what’s possible? I hope you accept the invitation to taking action because it’s only in action that transformation comes.

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How To Deal With Envy And Jealousy In Business