The Ambitious Woman's Guide To Trusting More And Worrying Less
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We know what it’s like as a business woman in corporate America, or whatever your profession is to be driven, ambitious and determined and this tenacity has served us well. It may have helped you land your first role, given you the courage to start your own business or allowed you to negotiate the pay you deserve. Yet, there is a flip side to this level of intensity, and the flip side is living in a place of worry, perpetual stress and anxiety because we are so determined to make it happen and to figure it all out. There is a better way. You can go after your dreams and goals in a way that doesn’t cost you your sleep, your internal peace, your relationships and your health. This blog will explore how you can attain a life, a business or a career that you love with less anxiety, less worry and more peace.
1 TRUST THE PROCESS AND ITS LESSONS
The first mindset to have that will enable you to take massive action towards your goals with less anxiety is to trust the process and its lessons. When we are pushing hard towards our goals and objectives we default to working hard and pushing, but sometimes it is not about the grind, sometimes it’s about the deeper work, the character that needs to be developed in us before we get to the next level. It really is about who we are being rather than what we are doing!
Sometimes things don’t work out the way that we want them to but if we take a meta view retrospectively we will see that the experiences that we went through were preparing us for what was ahead. Maybe it is a role that requires a certain level of executive presence, influencing skills or ability to have tough conversations beyond the technical training that courses can give you. Some of these character developing situations cannot be quickly microwaved into completion. It takes time, and experience. Yet it is hard for us to see this when all our focus is just on getting to the goal, be it a job, some other business or financial goal, a health goal or even a personal relationship goal. The ancient Greek had two words for time that have played a huge role in helping me understand how time plays a role in this process. The first is Chronos, which is where the word chronological comes from and is sequential and quantitative. Kairos however is qualitative in nature and signifies a proper or opportune time for action. We maybe doing everything within our power to make something happen but if it isn’t the right or opportune time for it to happen, it will not work or we will unnecessarily significantly struggle. Maybe the resistance we are experiencing is a lesson that there is a deeper work that needs to be done in us and rather than fighting we need to surrender to the process, and trust that as we do our part by being prepared, when the right time comes what is for us will work out when it is supposed to. If it doesn’t work out trusting that you have probably avoided a huge mistake.
2 FOCUS ON WHO YOU ARE BECOMING, NOT JUST THE GOAL
Obsessing on a goal night and day, can induce high levels of stress. While some stress is extremely important for our development or progress, beyond a certain point it becomes counter-productive and potentially dangerous from a health standpoint. If we have attached some arbitrary deadline on when we want to see the goal manifested without fully thinking it through that alone can shift the stress from a healthy level to an unhealthy one. However if we focus on becoming the kind of person who is capable of not only achieving the goal but also maintaining it over a long time. We have all heard the story of lottery winners who have achieved millions of dollars in winnings but just a few years later, lost everything because they did not have the financial habits or competence to maintain their fortune over the long-haul. This is why working on who we are being, our habits, skills and mindset is so important that when we are finally able to achieve what we want, we are prepared to sustain it.
3 SEE THE PROCESS AS A FUN DISCOVERY AND ADVENTURE
No matter how much we plan every aspect of our lives, including our business or careers, no one is able to fully control what will happen. So instead of stressing about every pain staking detail of our lives, we can see the process of getting closer to our goals as a fun and unpredictable adventure of discovery. This is such a liberating mindset to have that moves us out of being rigid and unable to pivot when necessary to being flexible enough to ebb and flow at whatever life throws at us. One common example is that many entrepreneurs do tons of market research and developing a detailed business plan but their first idea, no matter how much work was done may not work out. It may not be the ultimate place where they will take their business, but finding the most successful idea for them would not happen if they didn’t start. It is while they are executing against the vision that they learn, pivot and tweak until they end up with an end product that “hits the jackpot.” No matter what the entrepreneur does, if they are to be successful they must go through this experimentation process so that they can find the way that works for them. Since there is ultimately no straight and guaranteed path to our goals because of the unpredictability of life seeing the journey as a fun adventure is a liberating mindset to have that makes the process of getting there more fun and less stressful.
Powerful Coaching Question
What in your life, if you let go of your need to control could become an adventurous and fun experience for you?
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