The Confident Introvert: How Quieter Types Can Simultaneously Be Effective & Authentic
In the western world, introverts get the short end of the stick. According to Susan Cain, The Author of Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking, a whopping one third to one half of the U.S. population are introverts yet western culture has a distinctive bias towards what she refers to as the “Extroverted Ideal.” One of the impacts of this preference is that introverts are viewed as less than or inferior, specifically not equipped to be effective leaders and misjudged as lacking confidence due to their quiet nature. There are strengths however in both styles, and despite our western cultural preference, there are many examples of iconic, impactful and confident leaders who are introverts, such as, Rosa Parks, Charles Darwin, Warren Buffett, Al Gore, Larry Page, Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein and many more.
Before we get too far ahead in discussing strategies for introverts to utilize to be effective in an extroverted leaning world, we first need to take a look at what introversion is. Most of us think introvert means shy and extrovert means outgoing. However extroversion and introversion simply have to do with where we get our energy from. According to Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, “Each person seems to be energized more by either the external world (extraversion) or the internal world (introversion).” Introverts tend to get their energy through being alone and will lose energy from being around others for extended periods of time. Extroverts gain energy through being in the presence of others, and find that their energy is drained by extended periods of solitude (although as an introvert I admittedly can’t fathom how anyone could ever be drained by spending time alone, it’s like heaven to me). Subscribe to the blog so that you can be notified of the release of my weekly blogs and as a bonus, you will receive a free e-book, 10 Confidence Building Strategies That You Can Implement Now
misconceptions about introverts
There are a few misconceptions about introverts that make them seem as unlikely candidates to be effective leaders or influencers:
1. Introverts are shy: As explained earlier introverts get energy from being alone and therefore have a preference for being in solitude but it does not mean they are shy or socially awkward. They are generally more reserved or quieter and a lot of the times this is due to the fact that they are thinking, reflecting, observing or processing information. Yet, they do have the ability to form deep and meaningful relationships. They may not go broad in terms of having a large number of relationships but they tend to have fewer, deeper and more meaningful relationships.
2. Introverts are arrogant: Introverts tend to avoid small talk because they see it as largely superficial and find it draining. They would much rather have deep and meaningful conversations and due to this may not invest as much time to improving their competency in small talk. Due to their lack of desire to engage in small talk, they can come across as aloof, rude or arrogant. Additionally, since introverts think before talking while extroverts think by talking they tend to spend less time engaged in verbal exchange which is a meaningful way for many to feel a sense of connection with others.
3. Introverts lack confidence: A confident person simply has a feeling of self-assurance regarding their own abilities or qualities. They trust their own abilities, qualities and judgement. Due to an introvert’s quiet style and general reluctance in persistently arguing their point especially in a debate, others may interpret this as lack of confidence. However, be not mistaken. An introvert has typically invested a lot of time, research and analysis in developing their perspective and just because they are not vocal about their perspective doesn’t mean they are unsure or doubtful of their viewpoint. Extroverts should not mistake quiet for lack of confidence.
why Introverts are great leaders
1. They avoid unnecessary risk: Since introverts make their decisions after thorough analysis, research and weighing pros on cons based on data, they tend to take fewer unnecessary risk by not making hasty decisions.
2. Great listeners: Introverts tend to be great listeners and will therefore learn a lot about what the customer needs are, thus more prepared to serve those needs. Any business who is out of touch with the customer quickly becomes irrelevant, so introverts can leverage this listening ability to differentiate themselves and drive productivity The same skill is equally effective to the being an effective team leader since a manager who listens to their employees will be best equipped with the know how to drive motivation.
3. Build deep and meaningful relationships: While introverts may not build relationships with a large number of people, the ones that they do form relationships with tend to be deeper and more meaningful. This can result in a greater sense of loyalty and commitment.
4. Innovative and creative: Some of the greatest innovators and inventors are introverts and we know what they say about how crucial this skills is for the survival and thriving of a business, innovate or die. This creative ability of introverts will play a big role in keeping an organization alive and relevant.
strategies to BE authentic & increase YOUR impact as an introvert
Don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis: While making data based decisions are instrumental to avoiding unnecessary risk it must always be balanced with knowing the right time to make a call. If an introvert gets stuck in analysis paralysis or perfectionism they will miss a lot of opportunities to leaders who are willing to make a decision sooner.
Leverage strengths: Introverts bring a lot of strengths to the table as outlined above, so knowing what those strengths are and being willing to leverage them unapologetically will allow you to use your difference as your differentiator and remain confident in who you authentically are.
Embrace your style: one of the best ways to leverage your effectiveness and creativity as an introvert is know what the best setting is for you to create. If you need quiet time, focus and solitude to emerge with your best ideas don’t be afraid to ask for that or create the space for yourself. Bill Gates, founder and chairman of Microsoft is known to have spent two weeks alone in the forest each year to think and ponder about technology and we all know the tremendous impact he has had in that industry. So feel empowered to take the steps you need to bring out your inherent innovation and creation.
Speak up first: Sometimes in order to show your thought leadership and engagement you will need to be just a little more vocal. You don’t have to dominate the conversation but speaking up and adding your input will demonstrate your deep thoughts and the value that you do bring to the table. Two tips to help you do this effectively are to prepare two to three points that you want to make in a meeting when you know the topic in advanced, you will employ your need to process in alone time but still stretch yourself to be vocal in a group setting. The second tip is to be one of the first few people to speak up in a meeting as it gets it out of the way quickly and sets the tone for your participating throughout. If you wait until the very end to speak, you may end up stressing out about it until the very end of the discussion. I have found that if you take the leap earlier on you are less apprehensive since you have eliminated the waiting.
Be willing to stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone: To the above point, don’t allow your style to be an excuse not to stretch yourself outside of your comfort zone. The motive here isn’t to change who you are but to learn and grow by flexing your style to impact different people in different ways. It is not about being right or wrong but it is about having the ability to flex when needed based on what the situation needs. Extroverts may need to be quiet and listen when the situation calls for it to improve their connection and ability to empathize with others thus making them more effective leaders. On the other hand, introverts may need to be vocal in defending the work of their team when the situation calls for it.
As Susan Cain says, don’t think of introversion as a trait that needs to be cured because introverts bring tremendous and unique value just at they are. However, we introverts are “capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work we consider important, people we love or anything we value highly.” If you think introverts can’t be amazing speakers, check out Susan Cain the introvert expert giving this amazing Tedtalk herself.
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