A Woman's Guide To Eliminating Low Power Language to Increase Influence & Authority In Business
**Download a copy of the free cheat sheet, Savvy Alternatives to Apologizing & Other Diminishing Language here
Incessant apologizing and other low power language such as uptalk dramatically decreases your influence, credibility and impact in business. There tends to be an emphasis in telling women to stop saying I’m sorry so much, but this is far from the only communication de-railer that otherwise brilliant women engage in. So, in this blog we will review 6 communication patterns to eradicate from your language now, in order to get the recognition and results you as an ambitious, high potential woman deserve in your career and business. Listen, there are enough external challenges that women have, to be able to get the credit, results and respect that we deserve in business without adding another layer that we fully have control over. I also invite you download a copy of the free cheat sheet, Savvy Alternatives to Apologizing & Other Diminishing Language and watch the Youtube video associated with this post.
Communication Pattern #1: Doubt & Hesitation Language
Utilizing language such as “I think,” “maybe” or “perhaps” introduces uncertainty in your language and will cause the hearer to lose confidence in what you are saying before you even get into the substance of your communication. Highly competent women are not typically using this language because they have not spent the time to do their homework. On the contrary, they may have spent hours or days preparing, vetting and researching but when they open their mouths they do a disservice to themselves by using this form of low power language. The consequence of this being, that they are quickly dismissed and the attention may go to someone else who is less deserving or less versed in the area of expertise. The simple solution is not to give into the temptation to preface statements with this language no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at first.
Communication Pattern #2: asking a question vs. making a statement
The fear of coming off too strong is typically the motive for making a statement but disguising it as a question. Women are often consciously or subconsciously afraid of receiving backlash from taking a bold stand and powerfully owning it because they maybe seen as a bitch and are afraid of the repercussions attached to this label. Due to socialization we often back down from being too strong, and I get it! However, there are savvy ways to assert yourself without being a jerk about it, and frankly even though we may receive jolt reactions initially to owning our power through our communication - the more comfortable and consistent we are in our newly found voice is the more normalized it will be over time as people adjust to our new standard. When we set the standard and stick to it, eventually the people around us come into alignment - just don’t back down! The free cheat sheet Savvy Alternatives to Apologizing & Other Diminishing Language will provide you with some smart ways to be assertive without being unnecessarily harsh!
Communication Pattern #3: UPtalk
According to best selling author of the book, Successful Women Speak Differently: 9 Habits That Build Confidence Courage and Influence, Valerie Burton states that our vocal essence is what people hear when we speak. Uptalk, which is the high pitch at the end of a statement that makes it sound like a question even if it isn’t constructed as such. This form of communication can be very hard to listen to (like, totally, seriously valley girl sounding lol) and even more importantly almost impossible to command the credibility the speaker may deserve. Reduce the intonation at the end of sentences to make it more flat or as I used to tell a few teenage girls I mentored … put some base in your voice! We are women now not little girls so let’s speak like it.
Communication Pattern #4: SPEAKING TOO QUICKLY
Slowing down, taking up space and pausing are simple yet powerful ways to increase one’s executive presence in order to truly own a room. Listen to CEOs and high level leaders, they are never in a rush to get their words out because they expect the room to make space to listen to them. When we rush through our words it makes it very hard to follow what is being said, and in many cases it makes the speaker seem nervous. I am quite aware that when women speak they often get interrupted or even spoken over, and the way that they attempt to fix this is by rushing through to get all their words out in a hurry before the inevitable interruption. A better strategy would be to speak assertively, clearly, and concisely, rather than trying to rush through a lot of words out of an underlying fear of not being fully heard. If you are interrupted you could re-insert yourself in the communication by thanking the speaker for their perspective and say “ and to conclude my earlier point …,” to take the power back in that conversation.
Communication Pattern #5: minimizing & hedging language
Language such as ‘in my opinion’, ‘just my opinion’, ‘a little bit’, and ‘I am no expert but’, is another category of communication patterns that reduces the influencing power of a person’s language. Eliminate this pattern and ask yourself why you are using them in the first place, is it because you are trying to appear humble? There are much more effective ways to do that rather than using self-deprecating language. Could it be that you have a fear that you maybe criticized for your point of view or have a fear of being wrong aka perfectionism? Address the underlying issue and remove the language pattern. Additionally, it is quite obvious that if there are words coming out of your mouth, you are expressing your own point of view, so there is no reason to state it again ( e.g. in my opinion).
Communication pattern #6: being overly grateful for everything
Just like overly saying I’m sorry and apologizing displays insecurity, so does being overly grateful for everything that someone in your organization does for you. You are working for an organization, and this is business, so the actions someone takes to help is not solely or primarily out of the goodness of their heart and they are not offering charity specifically to you, they are just doing their job for the better of the company just like you are doing yours. Accordingly, be professional and be a decent human being by saying thanks for the help but don’t make too much of a big deal about it.
What about you? Have you found yourself using any or all of the communication patterns above? If so, this free cheat will give you some clever fixes!
One more thing!! Listen my sister friends, self-doubt and lack of confidence may not only leak into your communication patterns, but also in how you show up in many different ways at work and this could be impacting your ability to get ahead professionally. So, I invite you to attend my free masterclass to discover 3 Essential Skills To Conquer Self Doubt At Work That ONLY the select few have been taught.
(Register for my free LIVE masterclass “Advance Your Career Confidently” at www.kishawynter.com to learn more about how to overcome self-doubt & obliterate imposter syndrome at work)!
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