Perfectionism: How To Overcome Self-Doubt In Business Series Part 1
The way in which self-doubt manifests itself as a sabotage mechanism blocking powerful women from achieving their maximum attention is astounding. The negative internal chatter is so sneaky that it shows up in unexpected even seemingly logical ways to keep us “safe,” which for all purposes just means that it keeps us stuck. In the next three blog posts we will explore 3 common manifestations of self-doubt to help you recognize it, and take steps to reduce its impact in blocking you from reaching higher towards your ambitions! We will start with perfectionism.
Self-doubt often shows up in the form of perfectionism, which sounds like the kind of fake “weakness” you would use in a job interview when asked what’s your weakness or what’s one thing you have to work on and you think you’re being clever when answering ‘oh my weakness is being a perfectionist’, implying subtly that it is really a strength. Perfectionism however is not a good thing, nor is it synonymous with having high standards. Perfectionism creates a lot of busy work which if left unchecked can lead to burnout and demotivation. Sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking that our busy work means that we are being productive but what we don’t realize is that all this activity in reality keeps us running on the hamster wheel, getting nowhere, … fast! This perfectionism is just a way to keep us hiding and from being seen. It keeps many powerful women playing smaller than they are meant to and prematurely hitting their own internal glass ceiling. If you are ready to get unstuck from the deceptive cycle of perfectionism so that you can make REAL measurable progress in your business or career, read on!
Perfectionism is one of the best ways to separate those who will be successful versus those who will be in the same place for weeks, months or years to come due to the high burnout rate of perfectionists. To avoid this preventable pitfall you can take the following steps.
1. Focus on strategy rather than tactics
Being strategic is simply having the broader context to the work that is being performed, seeing the big picture and knowing the why. Always remember this, the person who only knows how to do something will always work for the one who know the WHY. This is why it is important for those who want to progress to leadership positions in their careers, to get their heads out of the weeds and think bigger.
Being strategic is sharpening the saw, (taken from the late Stephen Covey’s book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Sharpen the saw is about taking care of the vessel that is, the person doing the executing, YOU! Care could include investing in developing skills professionally through course/classes or taking on projects with said goal. However, it also includes self-care so that you can ensure sustainable peak performance over the long term. Remember, your business and career isn’t a sprint to the end, instead, it is a long often very slow marathon. Therefore, taking care of the body that will get you to the finish line is of extreme importance.
Being strategic focuses on priorities. As a build on to the point above, it is impossible to not burnout and get in overwhelm if we try to do everything on our plates, so we have to make the tough calls of saying no, choose priorities, make trade offs and discern what is truly important and ruthlessly eliminate everything else. My favorite book on this topic is Essentialism by Greg McKeown.
2. Release fear and shame
The famous author, Brene Brown says, when perfectionism is driving, shame is always riding shot-gun and fear is always the annoying backseat driver. People struggle with perfectionism in areas that they feel the most vulnerable to shame. These are the areas in which they don’t feel like they are enough in or as if they don’t have what it takes. The often unaware internal rationalization is that if they do everything perfectly, it will prevent them from being criticized, blamed and ridiculed. Unfortunately perfectionism isn’t an effective strategy for building self-confidence or being resilient from the criticism of others (click the hyper-links to read actual tips on how to do both).
Diversity and representation matters!
The reason women and minorities often struggle with perfectionism in the business area is because if they make a mistake they feel that the repercussions are that much more detrimental and obvious because they are “the only one.” If you are in a field where historically there hasn’t been much gender or ethnic diversity then there is an immense pressure felt to be a good representation of everyone to come who looks like you. Unfortunately in many cases it is NOT an imaginary or unfounded feeling because they don’t have the luxury of being judged as an individual when they are the first person or the only person of their background in a role. In many cases organizations will think that they are taking a ‘risk’ by giving the person that looks different a chance and if it doesn’t work out the unsaid implication isn’t JUST “oh, THIS person was just not ready for the role,” that would be the case in an ideal world. The reality is that, many times it is seen as “oh, our fears were confirmed, people who look this way don’t tend to do well in these roles/situations” even when the leadership doesn’t think it, many members of the broader organization indeed will and the female/minority will experience a compounded level of shame due to this unfortunate experience. Yet, the time has come and now is the time for organizations and their leadership to take steps to remove this unnecessary pressure by building inclusive, diverse organizations so that there will be less cases of “the only one.” Until organizations catch up, and become as we say #woke, individuals can work to shatter their own internal glass ceilings. Some questions we can ask ourselves as we work to break free from the shackles of perfectionism are: 1. What am I afraid of (good to expose the root cause of what is binding you in these chains), and 2. What is the worse that can happen? Most of the time it is not as bad as we think, no one died so the situation tends to be redeemable and if not, at a minimum it can be a learning experience to springboard us to the next level. Most times people put way too much value on one situation and not enough value on who they are becoming as a result.
Stay tuned for next week’s blog post and Youtube video covering Part 2 in this series, Imposter Syndrome!
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